pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

Knock knock --Come in.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

she wasn't 18

why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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