want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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Gay's rights

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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american government

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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