What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

Darude - Sandstorm

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

Whats worse than finding a jew in you bed. Jake skellern

Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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