Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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i have yougurt with tractor

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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