How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

What's the difference between a duck

when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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