What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops