Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Flop dog

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British Dentistry

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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