what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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