When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

thumb_up thumb_down -10

eloise dey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Soccer...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops