When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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read this

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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