Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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