This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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mark is mark

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Dani barton from bob chuckles

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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