two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

Chicken

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

Womens rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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