What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

dead battery come on down

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

thumb_up thumb_down +9

SC Johnson a Family Company

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops