Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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