What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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You

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shea kisses a girl

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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monkey sponge

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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