What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

A Jew walks into a Furness

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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