Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Welcome To Facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops