This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy has cancer. He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his brother im dying of leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops