Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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take out the f in way. there is no f in way. I see what you did there.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

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My life :(

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A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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