What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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my namew is jd

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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