how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

Mitch

Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

British Dentistry

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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