What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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The 80's

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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a man died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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