why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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Anti-joke.

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Vagina ass.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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