Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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