- Anti Joke

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

You: A man is riding his motorcycle down a mountain road when he wipes out. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monks "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'll be happy to pay for the room." The monk says "It's alright, you may stay here the night while you heal." That night, the monk brings the man to a room and says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He ignores it and sleeps on, but is obviously curious. The next day the monk says "I think it would be best for you to stay here another night. Your leg is very injured." The man says "Alright," and he spends another night. Before he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will knock on your door three times. Do not answer the door." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. there is a knock at the door. This time, he answers to door. There is a monk on the other side. The monk says nothing and turns around. The man follows him and the monk walks to the second floor of the monastery and walks into room, closing the door behind him. The man tries to open the door but finds that it is locked, so he goes back to his room and goes to bed. The next day he asks the monk "What is in that room?" the monk says "I told you not to answer the door," the man says "I was curious. What is in that room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become a monk." So the man leaves, but he cannot stop obsessing about that room. Over the next year he loses his job, his wife leaves him and all his friends stop talking to him, because all he can think about is what is behind this door. Exactly one year later he is riding his motorcycle along that same mountain road, and he purposefully wipes out in the same place. When he wakes up he is in a monastery. He says to the monk "I have to know, what is behind that door?" The monk says "I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk." The man says "Fine." The man goes to leave, but the monk insists he spend the night, as his leg is hurt once again. When he goes to bed, the monk says "There is one rule. In the middle of the night, someone will come and knock on your door. Do not answer it." The man says "Alright," and goes to bed. At 2 A.M. someone knocks on his door. He answers it, and a monk is there. The monk says nothing, turns around and walks away. The man follows the monk. The monk moves up to the second floor of the monastery, and goes into a room. The man tries to slip in behind the man, but is a second too late. He tries to open the door but finds it locked, so he goes downstairs and goes back to bed. The next day he goes to the monk and says "What is in that room?" The monk says "I told you not to answer the door." The man says "I know, but I was curious. What is in the room." The monk says "I cannot tell you, you would have to become the monk." The man says "Fine," and leaves. Over the next year, he commits himself to becoming a monk. He learns all the lessons of the monastery and returns one year later to the monastery. He says to the monk "I have become a monk, and I want to join this monastery. Now, what is behind that door?" The monk brings the man to the room and opens the door, and he cannot believe his eyes. Friend: What was behind the door? You: I cannot tell you. You would have to become a monk. (Thank you Sarah Seguin)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

test

miley cyrus

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

womens rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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