You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Why did I get raped

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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A black man is stopped at a red light. He waits for the light to turn green and proceeds forthwith.

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Dogs

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms Why did Susie drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere Knock Knock "Whos There?" Not Susie

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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