What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Dick spice

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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i cant think of one.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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