Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

thumb_up thumb_down +17

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why? Because!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Kelly Clarkson

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't you tell Knock-Knock jokes in a Japanese farmhouse? Because your fist will go through the rice paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops