knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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what do you do if you see an asian trip on a step? help him/her up and ask if their alright.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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