A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

ecks! why zee?

A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

What's worse than aids? Super aids.

how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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