Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Jason Connor.

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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A disabled man walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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