A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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knock, knock come in

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What is 2+2? 4!

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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