Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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