Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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<=-):[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]:(-=>

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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A

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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