7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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A black man is stopped at a red light. He waits for the light to turn green and proceeds forthwith.

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Dogs

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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What happens when you mix a black guy and a chinese guy. A disfigured man

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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