-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The cow went moo

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

LOL May Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops