Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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69

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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