what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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I enjoy anal.

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Why was the boy crying. He just got raped by a llama

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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