What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

a man walks into horse bar

You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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