How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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