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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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My life :(

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops