So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

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24

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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