69

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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JFK

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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A seal walks into a club.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops