What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Mitch

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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matt shut up

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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