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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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