What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Watch your lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +32

nba live 13

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An Asian walks out of the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

thumb_up thumb_down +30

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops