Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why? Whats wrong?

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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25

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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