roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was danielle so fat? She can't help her bad genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

<=-):[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]:(-=>

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops