the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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