How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

Men, get on the boat.

Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

obama

Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

You wanna hear a JOKE ?!! Justin Bieber has a DlCK !!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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