Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had sex. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

thumb_up thumb_down +9

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

69

thumb_up thumb_down +9

These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops