Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

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Ebola

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Alex Eggbert

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Minecraft.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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